quote me

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

destined for more ambiguity! there was this one dialogue i had with my philosophical uncle (a spiritual guide, in his own right) where we discussed extensively the idea of the gray (as opposed to black & white..yes, i'm serious). we feel ill-prepared and discouraged to try paths less trodden on. WHY? no doubt, each move one makes should be an analysed one, calculated even. but, sometimes, during all the hours of pondering, we overlook the most important voice of all: our own. do what YOU feel is right. the other voices that surround you are meant to create a platform from which you can make an educated and well-informed decision. life is challenging. and decisions seem life-threatening. but if assumption "is the mother of all fuck-ups", then we cannot assume. and we cannot deprive ourselves of the rainbow that may await us right in the middle of the gray matter. rainbows are made up from rain and sunshine. gray is from black and white. 1+1=3. :O)

*this is awesome, i get to be even more convoluted than before...with a purpose!

stark raving random

(yes, i made the one with covered up with choc buttons..a proud moment!)

one of many self-explanatory photos captured during the 4th quarter of last year..
getting creative in bims' shower...(to put it in perspective, it was thanksgiving!)

i heart
...melbourne

ON TO THE NEXT!

rather than go with the usual long-winded shpiel reflecting on the old, and gingerly predicting the future, i figured i'd just be...random :O) ok. maybe i'll just do the season's greetings and well wishes before i indulge in my (questionable) artistic flair. heh.

LURVEYALOTSL.BIG HUGS.ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT AND BESTEST OF WISHES IN ALL EXPLORATIONS (yes, even if it's a self-help book) AND LIFE (in general!)

now i've decided to discard my initial thoughts and be reflective. because one learns from one's past, but one should always remember to live in the present, whilst having outlines/plans for the future. never mind that it sounds like a handful..erm, i guess it's like never judging a book by its cover. words are like a cover to a story. it's the inner information that is all the juice, where we're able to derive further meaning (if at all). to deal with the right here, right now, and see it in a positive light with supercharged enthusiasm, i think it is important to have moments of dealing with the past. the modus operandi of each individual may differ...given that our reasons or experiences would have affected or been dealt with in our distinct individual style. of course, this brings us to the core of my post...i'm relating to my past year through verbal reflection. especially in these last few days, i've noticed several disctint points: i) engaging in discourse allows for a wealth of opinions and sentiments that may relate or teach one new avenues ii) being more open to criticism and differing views iii)having to publicly disclose my thoughts on previously grievious subjects affords me the skill of managing and organizing my thoughts in a less-random structure, ie. there is a point to my rambling...and then, of course, there's clarity, patience-calm&collectiveness iv) the feeling of letting-go,accepting my newfound knowledge from the past and learning to use it in newer pastures v) there are more than just my own eyes and ears watching out for me..all equipped with the same first-hand information your past. or something like that.
more tracks to be made tomorrow.
but for now, the temporary sydneysider must retire in an effort to make the most of days coming forth. hugsywugsypuddingnppies. much love.

drawing on my inner child...

You're an Etch-a-Sketch!! You're the creative, artsy type who doesn't need to actually utilize a single muscle group in order to have fun. Doesn't matter though, you're still cool.>

of course, i had to take a quiz on a site which doesnt have the right sort of code for blogspot...but never mind. i'd like to think i've left some part of this post to the imagination, never mind if it was unintentional. hah. explore realms of visualization like never before. in technicolour*.

*and then, of course, you realize that etch-a-sketches of the 80's generation weren't exactly colourful, save for the orange casing.**

**orange is a colour, so technically...

ok. i've left the building. peace out.

a bit of mena chi...

look what i found on one of my walks in may 2005. my parents, who were with me at the time, weren't the slightest bit disturbed by my over-excitement at the discovery. they've just put it down to me being eccentric. bah.

if tit were to look for mena, what better place to start! :O)
this still cracks me up.

drippetydrippetyplop

drip drip drip
the tap leaks
my nose runs
raindrops roll off the window pane

i sneeze
it shakes
the computer
almost breaks

my body needs time out
my mind wants to play
my stuffy nose puts a halt
to the oxygen passage way

gimme a fruit
surely that's key
to make the nose
less leaky

i skip i run i hop hop hop
my leaky nose runs drip drip drop

just a few of my favourite kl things...

where the heart is

cow n chicken

mmm...droolworthy, i swear!

that's what friends are for...good pictures. hehe.

according to this quiz...

Your Nail Polish Color is Black

How you're unique: There's nothing about you that isn't unique Why your style rocks: You are a total indie chick... and you can pull it off What this color says about you: "I'm a trendsetter and don't care what anyone else is doing!"

What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You?

ok. i'm maintaining that the heat has made my nails turn a different shade of COLOUR here (with a li'l help from my mother's friends at the nail shop...). presenting stage 1 of Ops.Makeover-KLstyle. ahem. (help!!)

and yes, that's a flower motif on my big toe. shup.

suasana meriah!

I"VE BEEN EATING practically EVERY WAKING moment since i got here!!!

take today, for instance...after spending the WHOLE morning (i'm talking 4.5hours!!!!!!!!) milling around impatiently at the immigration office (with 100s of disgruntled and unshowered passport seeking citizens) just to submit a renewal form, i was treated to a nasi beriyani lunch by the family, in the sweltering heat. YUMMMMMM! never mind that i've been trying to rid my stomach of the pesky mild food poisoning bug since yesterday...oh, and that i was still in the midst of digesting my b'fast of a roti canai with sambal. ahem.
and then, my bro n his gf took me out to town to have looksy at handyphones...but as my mother predicted, i was to come home later with the dad's same wonky, old mobile i left to town with (which, btw, is only worth RM20 on the market...not that there is even one for it, to begin with, but we just thought we'd ask!). :O) oh well. nothing caught my fancy, and everything that may have sparked a glint of interest was priced out of my budget. but such is...i'll have another browse next week.
so, when we'd decided we'd had enough of mobiles and BO ridden crowds, we decided to plop ourselves down at a coffee bean joint to refuel our individual fatty counts, whilst amusing ourselves with a picture session that only planks of a certain genre would be proud of. heh.
then, we walked a few more rounds, bought some games and dvds, and drove our junk-ship home. upon arrival, i ran to the loo for a quick wash-up, then was picked up by my honorable chindian counterpart for our first night-time outing in 2 WHOLE years. we found parking, skipped to a spanish eating and watering hole in the vicinity to meet up with engaged couple. woogles and i had: a jug of red sangria (ahem...), two tapas, and a warm melty chocolate dessert. ai may & senghong had a beer and a tiramisu. 1.5hours and two vacant chairs later, our table housed a very full & tipsy woogles and a very full & amused me. but right after our last shared morsel of cake, we made our merry way down to devi's corner for a nescafe ais, milo suam, and a plate of mee goreng. ahem. ( and still i wonder why my tummy feels constantly bloated...) :O)
is was 12.20am by then, and we were all set (tummies and otherwise) to roll home. sigh of content. the festivities have begun and are well contained within the confines of my stomach! exercise is in order...maybe next week? :O) heh.
thank you, wooogles!!BIG HUGS!

ah ah yeh yeh

balik kampung....

a) my passport needed to be rescanned in the special office at the oz airport. i was LEAVING the country?! i took my place next to an indian and a chinese. looks-wise, we would have made tourism m'sia proud.
b) i started to choke up when they played a video about 20 mins before landing, highlighting the beauty and progress that only a country so immersed in its overflowing "melting pot" would be able to advertise..do they even know the implications of the melting pot syndrome? never mind. i felt teary anyways. for that split second. and then, i watched the rest of the video through a squint, as only a cynic at her best would. and THEN, i wanted to laugh. because no self respecting country would end a "you've made the ultimate choice in holidaying in m;sia" video without so much as a salam to heart gesture from the the ultimate word on travel and tours, the tourism minister himself. who is no other than the father of a certain bespectacled young man with whom i had add maths tuition with, in upper secondary school. heh.
c) when i was about to leap out into the polluted kl atmosphere (i swear there's a distinct smell), i was wished a "selamat hari raya" in a very natan manner by a stewardess. and she had to repeat herself, cos it didn't register the first time. and as it sunk in, my history and reality of being a malaysian IN malaysia thwacked me on the head...DUH! mat mena. here we go. rock.
d) i rolled my bag out into the mass of people in the arrivals waiting area (most of whom turned out to be very hyper taxi drivers...it was 6.45am!!) and amidst the confusion weaving a 28kg bag through human road blocks, i smiled whilst declining a taxi offer...the doode looks at his friend next to him, "eh...lawa". the friend replies,"yalah, kan gadis malaysia".
OHMYGOODNESS.

i have resolved to practice my bo-chap look. :O) super plank!
in general, its amazing how just by virtue of my looks and gender, i fall into a certain category where even reciprocating a smile (with one of the opposite sex) can bear consequences of quite a traumatising degree.
my memory has been triggered. i'm plugged in. en garde!

handy

yes, for real. those are painted nails. in fushcia, no less. the result of a bims & tit 'we-need-retail-therapy-friday' after work outing.

and that's what it looks like when you plop on an accessory :O) hello!

sunshine through my window!

i sit me down in my little chair
fully intending to get "things" done
but the exciting wafts of summery air
is making it even less than fun

i want to go out and play
allll summmmerrrry dayyy
but everything must be done in moderation
because equilibrium is key
so i'll have to use it as motivation
set in motion the inspiration in me
to get back into action
all the factions
that went a-miss
when i chose to finish
early.

but but but...there is some excitement looming: a quick nip abroad- to think to sort to take a bigass leap and bound onto fertile ground. time to refuel my head...starving of new information.making a mockery the old. has anyone noticed? i certainly have. :O) FEED ME FEED ME.

stapey, if u can't extend long enough...can we meet in sg or kl when you go back? can? can can can? can! ok. set. :O)

lock,stock, and...

the two smoking barrels :O)

in the angsty instance..

consistently so. waves of anger, anguish, and sheer frustration wash over me with about the same frequency as i wash my face (and that's pretty damn regularly..it being a pimple farm and all), everyday. well, everyday save the weekends. :O) it's my favourite!
maybe i'm not toning properly. or locking in all the happy moisturising components with the same vigorous enthusiasm that i do my face-washing. hmmmm.
an ode:
brunch, lunch, tunch. it's all goode. with great, fun-loving companions. heh. the company i keep, the help a heap. they make me laugh, when thing's are tough. but they also present challenges which promote adequate balances in providing support and fuelling of the thought process. you guys eees theee bes.

oh,my mind's everywhere. a heap of things to do. it's difficult to set up boundaries where work is concerned...how much should i involve myself, based on the premise that i am about to set myself adrift tres soon? i mean, i have my starting points, but they're all interconnected with other aspects of this...erm...'project'. and then, of course, there's the bit where i don't feel particularly enthralled at the prospect of having to meet up with the owner of this...erm...'project'...to piece together the missing bits of my dog-eared page, in the bigger picture book. funny that, considering one of my major bugs that finally nibbled its way into my clean pages was about the owner not giving me enough time-of-day to push forward with decisions and the..erm..'project'.

and then, of course, there's the personal.

has the last 2 months of this 5 month long endeavour been a massive reflection of a developing short attention span, on my part? am i a runner, when things don't go my way? do i have issues working under someone of authority? erm no, to that last one. definitely. another lil bug carried with it the discomfort of having no clear boundaries where friendship and employer-employeee/professional relationships were concerned. "i like you as a friend, no doubt. but at the end of the day, you are my boss. and i work for you. i need that sort of clearly defined line, when it's about work".

chewel grows up.

constipated at large

boo. boo who. boo hoo hoo.

yes, that was me. all this 3rd quarter. "time's are a-changing", sang bob dylan. but that's just 'cos it presses on, arbitrarily. yet another man constructed constriction. but when you think it through (poetic sense aside), time repeats itself...it rushes all the way round to come back to its beginning point. "a lil bit of history repeating", said a wise shirley bassey. an endless cycle. nono. it does end. but then it revives itself and makes the trip again. and again. and ...u get the clock. tick tock tick tock.

i digress. perhaps. just a little.

lots lots lots has happened, happening, about to happen. i've got the eye-jerker act almost down to a pat, and soon i'll be invading your tv. hah. the life of the starving artiste. feeding off the mysterious (delusional or otherwise), and miserable misery.

oh to grow wiser and kinder and stronger after this feat.

i'm rambling. but so not a rose. my eyes are fatigue-ridden. my body's been food-abused. the sun's hidden. and it's sleeep i will choose...over elaborate nonsense. today. tonight. alright.

quote of the month: ...you are creatively constipated. that's just what it is".

good golly gumdrops. i simply have to agree.

an ego boost is always good. YEP! :O) iT's FRIDAAYY!!!

Your Vibe Is Somewhat Sexy

On a good day, you're the sexiest woman in the world But on a bad day, you can't help but feel a little average Try to remember the times you've felt the sexiest... And keep that attitude even on the worst of days

How Sexy Is Your Vibe?

back at it...

the creative board has been summoned."ladies and gentlemen, ready,steady,CHURN(out ideas)!". even if my thinking cap (proper) is not on, at least the creative one is sitting pretty on the head (albeit slightly off centre). it's that time of the year where the creative juices flow and most of the output tend towards the warped. :O) hey, i'm a believer in diversity. it makes for an (even more) interesting world. i seriously think that we, humans, thrive on the complicated. as much as we're conditioned to accept the fact that we're all the same (essentially), it really is beautiful to embrace our differences as well. i remember researching for an essay on multiculturalism, and coming across many articles opposing the idea of actually highlighting cultural differences in communities. this is based on the notion that it is a form of racism. by pointing out the differences (be it through celebration or otherwise) we would be able to identify and use (according to one's evil discretion, assumably) to pick on the 'weaker' race. at the time of writing the essay, i thought it was really an interesting take on the idea of multiculturalism..a concept condoned more so by Asian countries (or rather, leaders of Asian countries). but having just had 3 weeks worth of world-watching and having lots of time on my hands to contemplate about everything (from the menial to the more complex issues that make up one's existence/co-existence with the rest of the planet), i'm even more convinced that noticing the contrasts differences make (be it small or big) should be encouraged. of course there will always be issues. but that's just the human spirit. call it self-sabotage. we need to have that struggle in order to find satisfaction...

and no. this isnt me trying to sound philosophical, at all. just some of the mumbo-jumbo swirling around in the head and causing interruption of coherent thought. heh..syncopated rhythm and blues...that's me at the mo. mind playing around with ideas and wreaking havoc...making a something out of nothing. as usual it's right on cue,just when i need to get down to work proper. ahhhh....self sabotage!!!!!!!!!!

(/p>
feeling "too young to hold on, too old to just break free and run.."(jeff buckley).

shuffling blonde...

OHMYGOOOODNESSS..jeff buckley totally hits the note with my soul at the moment. winter has descended upon us, and i'm keeping warm and cosy with my fave tunes from my darker-hued collections. funny that, how i seem to thrive on the sad tunes to keep me (ridiculously) happy during the shorter colder days. well, i'm not quite stuck in the throes of winter music emo yet, so i've got my slow tracks (more tempo effect, rather than lyrics) in the set just for good measure. heh. shuffle mode rocks. i've got bread, interpol, the beatles, damien rice, jeff buckley, diana krall, and aqualung. if i could be bothered, i would put the shins ('those to come') in the line up as well. but really, jeff buckley's 'last goodbye'...OHhhh. who can live without it...thank you for the music.

whoa. major update session needed. even the pics are looking a bit blah. morning walks are in order! the lack of attention to my blogalog says it all, well most of it. the last 2 (!!) months were filled with time-consuming activities- casual work (unlimited hours, cos that's how i came packaged), sleep (or lackthereof..ahem), illness(es of varying degrees). oh and the usual do-nothing-worrry of job applications (or, again, lackthereof). ah. trivial matters, surely. yes, admittedly. but prioritisation is something i need to work on (so i've been wisely advised). and so i shall, with my priority pen and priority paper. oh, and my relaxed/revamped/toughened (pudgy) body and (prioritised)mind. ok, so maybe not the mind as yet, but it'll come to soon (ish) and we'll be sorted. sor'ed.
cruising down the freeway...LIFE IN THE FAST LANE. 'cept i'm choosing to drive slow :O)
oh and south island is gorgeous. i wanna live in a place like that when i wind down and kick up the heels. (mena, we could come to a compromise? scotland in summer..)

one more for the road...

stapes again...hey, at least we know my role in our 'old-age' relationship. heh. ok, "i will do the dishes, if you'll pay all the bills..",cowgirl. but if my brain leans towards the female... doesnt that actually make me more male? hmmmm...and besides, thinking with the heart is such a male thing. :O)

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

nonsensism...

the prism of colours with which we choose to colour our memories and glaze over the negative is certainly a contributory factor in accomodating feelings of nostalgia and longing - especially when one wishes to escape the present and its obstacles. we dream in black and white? so, when we rest and relax, all thoughts (because we're never really able to rid ourselves of ourselves)and visuals conceived are really just 'rough' pieces. having to juggle colours in one's sleep, doesn't sound too appealing...especially if one has problems doing so even when fully conscious (by societal standards, of course). so, shouldn't our colourful efforts of being able to paint a picture, so enticing that it invites notions of escapism, be applauded? executing the right to artistic license and all. gives one something to think about...it's all in the mind. :O)

W.I.P...almost..