one more for the road...

stapes again...hey, at least we know my role in our 'old-age' relationship. heh. ok, "i will do the dishes, if you'll pay all the bills..",cowgirl. but if my brain leans towards the female... doesnt that actually make me more male? hmmmm...and besides, thinking with the heart is such a male thing. :O)

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

nonsensism...

the prism of colours with which we choose to colour our memories and glaze over the negative is certainly a contributory factor in accomodating feelings of nostalgia and longing - especially when one wishes to escape the present and its obstacles. we dream in black and white? so, when we rest and relax, all thoughts (because we're never really able to rid ourselves of ourselves)and visuals conceived are really just 'rough' pieces. having to juggle colours in one's sleep, doesn't sound too appealing...especially if one has problems doing so even when fully conscious (by societal standards, of course). so, shouldn't our colourful efforts of being able to paint a picture, so enticing that it invites notions of escapism, be applauded? executing the right to artistic license and all. gives one something to think about...it's all in the mind. :O)

W.I.P...almost..

strange lil girl..(as the stranglers would put it)

"..i'm not aware of too many things, i know what i know, if you know what i mean..."edie brickell and the new bohemians. totally makes sense. to me. like most of my output, anyways, where no thought is given to the consequences that will inevitably ensue..until mid-sentence. and by then, it's usually too late. hah. master of manipulation i am not. (dammit..that leaves out politics from the prospective careers list then..spin doctor and all). it is a form of sensationalism though. depending on how you look at it(a lil more to the left). never mind that it could be the most boring of subject matters, the statement/question once dampened out whilst in the mind's of others will now have a new lease of life..living life out loud, even. :O)
BUT, in my defense, maybe it's a type of trait/characteristic (stupidity?)that is, really, an inherent part of one's cultural background...ok, so leave out the alcohol in the equation, and maybe it's just a chindian thing. hey, we're a special bunch. we pack a punch. i'm tired (finally), my eyes hurt. my toes burn. anyone got an extra sleep card lying around? i'd like to trade one of my hyppy-haper ones at the mo. wise-app phase.

music to my ears..

words to my hands, warmth to my heart.

the strangest feelings..

i woke up with a start today. actually, i jolted in and out of the somewhat strange state of slumber (if at all it was that) several times throughout the course of the morning. yes, i crawled into bed at 3am but then managed to keep a two-hourly vigil on my clock all the way to 7.30am. and that's when i decided that i'd had enough...did a bit of a walkabout in the apartment...and then made a conscious decision to not go for my morning walk. why? well, besides having majorly puffy eyes and an achy body, i wasn't feeling in the right frame of mind. actually feeling out of sorts. perturbed, ever so slightly. as with all dreams, i remember only fragments of it. the bits just before i woke up each time. and that last time, i was overcome by an overwhelming sense of sadness. whilst i can't really pinpoint which part of the vague dream fragment caused the descend into that unstable emotional state, it was one of those that hit a nerve of some sort. maybe i've just had too much of nothing on my mind, perhaps causing the soul to search with a greater need...therefore becoming more attuned/aware/sensitive to the surroundings..to others. i'm creeping myself out. maybe i need to be sucked into a vacuum for a while.

schmoozing for stapey...

nye'04-fed sq

of arachnophobics and g'days...

come come. let me share some of my amazing stories in wonderland this year, thus far. for starters, the new year was ushered into melbourne in true city style..with all the fanfare of a two-session fireworks display (9.30 for kids and midnite for the rest), a two and a half hour Cat Empire gig (part of their ATTACK tour),DJs, a dance stage, pub overspills, police, police, drunks,police,annoying teenagers, even more annoying families with terrors-on-wheels..you get the general idea. but i have to say, that i had a pretty goode night myself. it was a relatively quiet evening complete with libation (copious,p'haps, but responsible as always!), highly entertaining company, a crazy reason to hop into a cab 15 minutes before midnight, a wicked crazy cabby who gave us a wicked crazy ride back to the city with 5 mins to spare, and a numb arm by the end of the night. hah. good times. and i had that numb arm as a constant reminder for a whole two weeks after.
everything else has been pretty much as you'd expect it to be during summer, out here in good ol' melb. even the weather...not that it's been all that hot, this year. just a smattering of scorchers, for good measure, to reinstate the fact it is supposed to be summer. good news for the winter flabs, though. still ample opportunity to cover-up whilst shaping up and shipping out the old flabs to make way for the onset of new ones next month. oh, and bikinis are a fashion faux pas, this summer. wraps, cardigans, leggings are the way to go..don't believe me? ask the dishes.. they can sing they can dance...
:O)

minz, u need to edit this as best you can. my intellect only seems to kick in when on msn. somehow. actually, i'll go over it in the morning. this is 1st draft. set.

ALSO, of the two who stuck it out here after everyone else left for greener pastures (job-wise), one of us has been officially inducted into the laidback matey system (on so many levels), whilst the other just has to hop back in for a bit to reap the results of her year long endeavours too. and for the record, oz has WAY more weirdos and crazies traipsing around the place. cafes are NOT the place to pick up. ok. set.
whilst there are all the perks of city living, oz style, it is still very much outback in nature. no really. for example, one will still find the hugest ass spider lurking in the corner of a very enclosed area (a stiflingly stuffy room is nothing compared to having an eight-legged visitor from an open sliding door). having no outback jack at my immediate beck and call, i had to rely on my own resourcefulness (and quick thinking..or lackthereof) to lure the creep(y crawley) out of my humble abode. so i grabbed the only piece of machinery in the house that i was quite confident of a) working b)being able to reach the ceiling with. yes, i got it out...and generously gave it the shelter and warmth of the vacuum bag..a new home to make babies, no less. pimples aside, sitting in a room of growing dust mounds is manageable. even embarrassment is not enough to steer me in the direction of the storage cupboard to get the (possibly) spider-ridden vacuum out. it doesn't help that i saw the biggest ass spider (another one ok) climbing the window of the neighbour downstairs. needless to say, i did a paranoid routine check of all the sliding doors and latches. (you never know spiders these days...they may come equipped with latch-opening skills..eight legs to spare and all). what with a juice galavanting through the island east of the peninsular with camera crew in tow, and a chezel attending to domestic issues (dust,creepies,appliances), the melbourne connection looks all set to rock and roll into the next phase..over and out.

food for thought..

bon apetit

dinner at my place..really, what more need i say? :O) well, no one keeled over in the aftermath of food consumption (at least not whilst still in the vicinity), and that's always a good sign. thoroughly enjoyed myself, nonetheless. sunday's are like that. especially when one doesnt have the overwhelmingly dreadful shadow of "THE" monday looming closer every hour. but then, after 2 weeks of having every day feel like a glorious sunday, one begins to appreciate it less. it becomes awfully mundane and, worse still,makes one lose that sense of spontaneity that comes with having a timetable or schedule..a life, basically. yes, people,my current study of the self has just unearthed a dirty secret of societal conventions-having ample time to enjoy the little pleasures that make up the bigger picture equates to having an unfulfilled existence equates to being aimless (again,i'm choosing to not elaborate), therefore rendering the person void by society's standards. well, ok. not entirely void. but just by virtue of being indifferent to the rush and hustle-bustle of the current generation's mass lifestyle, one becomes an outsider (a harsh term, on all levels) and therefore needs to retreat further..more often than not, into the shell of conformity. really, we could learn a thing or two about living harmoniously-in-diversity from jelly bellys. human beans are the way to go. now, excuse me while i scamper off to the kitchen in search of a glucose-ridden food item. my sugar levels are relatively low for a tuesday at the mo.

self-discovery

again, i must thank stapey for fuelling my (purely academic) interest in the self. case study #1. :O)

You Are Sensual Sexy You exude a luxiourous sensuality in your everyday life Turning heads every where you go, it's all about your sexy attitude. You're naturally hot - gorgeous in both sweats and stilettos. Your biggest problem is that your utra sexy self sometimes scares men away. What Kind of Sexy Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

in festive mode...

i spent time with my beloved melbourne connection (rainbows and all) tonite. we feasted on the MOST AWESOME spread, cooked with love by our resident Chef Extroardinaire, alan (also part-time Artistic Director of Tony&Delon). MUCH APPRECIATED!!! it was really a nice way to usher in the new year...began with an early(!) walk to the city, compulsory after-quitting-visit to the cafe, holiday indulgences..ok, more of it... (jack johnson tix; ACO gig tix), lunch with brydz & tori, coffee at the cafe (again), window shopping, chit-chatted (in true CNY fashion) over dinner (and the tv) with the boys, random music conference with dede (other half of Tony&Delon),coffee (...what's one more cup..),and greeted the second day of new year with yet another rambling-babbling session with mals. celebration, indeed. :O)here's hoping everyone has an amazing start to the year, complete with prosperity and joy throughout (all four quarters, no less)!

everyone at home: you're in my thoughts always.lurveyalots. BIG HUGS!

keong hee fatt choy!kua chee..that's what we're missing. :O)

""WHEN I'M IN YOUR ARMS, NOTHING CAN BRING ME DOWN.."ben kweller.

whirlwind heat..name of a band i saw a year and a half ago. really catchy. the name's just on my mind. funny that, considering i'm having massive problems remembering what i did yesterday. just keeping track of my days is a whole activity in itself. the time and effort that goes into jotting down the miscellaneous bits and pieces that make up a day in my current unemployed state is (almost) commendable. having said that, i'm having trouble taking things one step at a time with everything else. i want it all now. i want to skip steps. hop hop hoppety hop skip LEAP. you'd think after all these years, i would've learnt how to eat one well-chewed mouthful at a time..even when carrying a full platter. well, it's not really a WANT. all comes down to impatience. which, of course, is wonderful at this very moment because it is only the most important part of the entire process...THE BEGINNING.oh here's another one: PROCRASTINATOR. no really. that soooooo wasn't obvious. JUST GIMME A JOB, dammit. i'm an earnest learner, hardworking, passionate about getting the job done (wa...at?...hello?), loyal. Come come. surely there's a need for some honest to goodness employees who are willing to be severely underpaid and doggedly overworked (complete with beaming smile, albeit slightly baggy, bloodshot eyes) out there? practically free labour. (ME ME ME) offer for limited time only.

but on this fluffy cloud i have chosen to perch myself on, there is always ample room for happy thoughts and moments (no matter how forgetful i am...plaguing mindlessness and all) of appreciation for the people around me, and their enduring patience (through my rambling impatience) and support (this really is one of those words that allows for me to be concise..as opposed to elaborating...yes, the general idea..). i sigh with content..for now.